The Crete Nomads

​ The adventure suddenly began just as I was thinking of flying to Europe alone - ran out of time writing my thesis and didn’t manage to join to any group of friends nor book anything in advance. Suddenly, one of my university mates, Vadim, decided to spend a week on Crete - a perfect opportunity to team up. A bit later random chats spontaneously resulted in organizing a trip together. The idea was to rent a car and to explore the island’s gorgeous beaches and serpentines on our own, illegally camping in town outskirts and maybe even in hippie caves! Yay!

​ The tactical layout was the following: me and Marsel were going to book a cheap week tour including a weekly reservation in a two-star hotel near the airport, stay there for two days until Daniel arrives from his summer school in Bulgaria, after which we were going to plan our sightseeing route together and depart.

Days one and two: embrace your inner tourist

​ The Prince of Lilies hotel where we stopped is located in the small village of Karteros in the outskirts of Heraklion. For two days me and Marsel were on our own, scouting around, taking notes and non-stop coursing at the literally the LOUDEST crickets in the world.

Consider this as an important factor if you ever consider traveling to Crete. It’s quite hard to get used to them, it took us around three days. This, plus the hellish sun was using every opportunity to turn one into a crispy waffle.

​ The first significant discovery was the fact that the Greek prices were not as low as expected and all local cats belong to a different breed than what’s normal for Russia - short-haired, silky-textured with leopard-like pattern, very independent, they were not giving even a slightest attention to our presence. Aside of these, we found a couple of funny and odd things: coffee mills in shops that look like electrical sharpeners my grandfather used to have in his barn, a tractor on the beach with its tracks leading into the sea, fenced ruins of the Sanctuary of Zeus Thenatas featuring dead shells on top of the wooden poles somehow similar to the cursed folks in the Pirates of the Caribbean.

No, seriously, how did they get here? It’s almost always scorching hot, they move very slowly and the sea level probably doesn’t change that much! And there’s a lot of what looks like big onions on the hill near the ruins. All the bees here are black - probably to get even hotter under the sun. Maybe they have small thermal plants inside.

​ To our surprise, two-star hotel where we stopped exceeded all of our expectation: a very cozy windy terrace with a dining area and a swimming pool (who needs those when the sea is just 100m away?). Hanging seats and a hammock added an almost tropical vibes. The planes fly above the nearest beach every fifteen minutes or so.

​ Local cafes, mostly named “taverns”, are quite good, especially considering the large portions Greek typically serve (for some reason I was afraid of the opposite). There was only one case during the trip that left a bad impression - a woman brought us a “carafe, ok?” of supposedly home wine, which tasted like a mix of gasoline, alcohol and red dye. Perhaps this was one of the few alcoholic beverages in my life which were impossible to drink. The lady was worried about the taste of moussaka “not good?” and then brought us some watermelon - “from me to you” - she explained. This isn’t actually supposed to be mean - it’s just that these phrases stuck to our tongues and we were quoting her the entire trip later. We got ourselves a nice shiny Fiat Panda right at the hotel.

Day three: testing out the car

​ Since next morning our friend Daniel finally arrived to Heraklion, it was also the day we got our little four-wheeled friend with the number IPI. The reason for this is ‘IPPI’ being a Russian abbreviation for an Institute of Information Transmission Problems where Daniel studied. The state in which the number plate is in the photo represents the overall smoothness of our journey.

​ Since now we were all together, it was the time to plan the route. We occupied a table at a terrace and considered our options. Crete is quite a big island and we only had five days to explore it, so picking a half of it was a good idea. After pinpointing the sights & peculiar places we noticed they grouped along the western side - the choice was obvious. But that day we felt relaxed and we decided to spontaneously travel around the area for Marcel and Dan to refresh their driving skills a bit. Our very first destination was Heraklion, the closest and the biggest city on the island, where the guys struggled at parking and navigating through the narrow streets. We then took a walk around and again had the chance to feel the Greek hospitality in a tavern concealed in a small side alley. Getting a huge water supply in a local supermarket was also a good idea - the heat was insane compared to what we were used to in Moscow.

​ The next stop was world-famous Knossos, the ancient palace where I hoped to find a minotaur or two. The palace ruins are relatively big, but by large consist of foundations and ruined walls. The English researcher who first explored the place reinforced remaining wooden parts with concrete to prevent them from turning into dust, and later they reconstructed some parts of the palace. Newly added brick walls look out of place because their surface suddenly gets all flat. It was great visiting such an ancient relic, but I didn’t feel anything special at all - in my opinion, most of the ruins in Greece look sorta the same - boring concrete and wall remains outlining the rooms which were here several thousand years ago. The exceptions were the throne room and palace parts with remaining columns, paintings and frescos where many people were taking photos. Guess if you’re a history geek it’s your thing, otherwise it doesn’t offer much.

​ It naturally came to our minds that it’s Fury Road time - and for the next few hours I was looking out of the car’s window as we drove through the mountains, construction areas and, finally, along the coast to the town of Agios Nikolaos - a direction opposite to what we had actually set. The Cretan landscapes are amazing, I must give them that - hilly, rocky and sunny, painted with deep greens of olive fields and forests, orange-yellows of dried grass and greyish ivory of the mountains. A lot of time one can see a glaring, flat surface of the sea, expanding to infinity, or small rock-islands near the shores. Taking a swim at a beach on the way was a great idea - considering I had my diving mask and a pipe. Later, after taking turns watching the bottom of the sea, guys bought their own masks. It was a really long time since I had a dive like that - swimming in the ocean in Portugal and in the English Channel in Eastbourne doesn’t count as the water is very cold and you can’t enjoy diving.

​ Agios Nikolaos is a town with great views and a proper atmosphere of a port city. As to be expected, a lot of local shop and restaurant owners are Russian-speaking: we bought an olive spatula in a shop full of wooden wonders and had a supper in a fantastic Armenian(!) restaurant. There we tried snails in Italian-style herbal sauce. One would think the snails are disgusting! After a walk through the long streets smelling of a sea breeze, we drove back to the hotel under the cover of the night, almost running out of gasoline in the process. Did you know real men only refuel when there’s almost no fuel left?

Day four: Rethymnon lighthouse, the wild beach of Chania

​ With a feeling worth of the 19th century adventurer I stuffed my belongings into a backpack and our team drove to the west, hoping to reach Chania in one day and camp somewhere near the town afterwards. This type of long road is perfect for relaxed conversations and doing stupid things. For these four days we decided each one of us would be the radio DJ for a day or so - unfortunately, our cable that we purchased in Heraklion broke instantly, in the first five minutes of usage, and plugging our phones was harder than anyone expected, wiggling and adjusting the cable millimeter by millimeter and not breathing afterwards so that our efforts don’t go to waste. Needless to say, it was impossible to survive the day without the water supplies.

​ Rethymno was marked to visit. We found a parking spot with a sign near it that local translated for us - basically it read “pharmacy delivery truck is stopping there sometimes, so please don’t be an asshole”. Totally forgot to mention how Greek treat driving regulations: basically, they suppose there’s no driving regulations. Anyone can witness this: there, a bunch of cars are parked right under NO PARKING sign; a double solid line is crossed casually by everybody like it’s no big deal.

​ Rethymno is a nice small place with, as always, lots of tourist-targeted shops and restaurants. I kept imagining how someone could travel 3-4 thousand years back in time and tell the glorious ancient Greek with all their swords and fancy armor something like “In a distant future your great buildings will be reduced to ruins and the island’s economy will be centered around tourists”. That would completely demotivate the ancient philosophers and warlords and lead to a dire consequences in our timeline, I suppose.

​ But back to the point - port of Rethymno is a very sunny place with plenty of seafood restaurants, a great-looking lighthouse and remnants of an old fortification. If you climb up and look at the stony seashore, you’d be amazed by the crystal-clear water with caustic shadows dancing on the stones’ surface. There also was a cargo ship filled with sand, unloading. The process looked epic. In addition port featured a long breakwater which apparently stops waves by dissipating their energy using lots of crudely stacked concrete cylinders. Looks like a piece of art, though - the way those cylinders are put together is weird. We had our dinner in one of the restaurants close to the seashore.

​ The next waypoint was a small beach near Chania, concealed from the both sides by huge rocks. On the right side there was a stone formation and a grotto going straight through the massive rock. That’s where I felt a strong urge to go.

Before, I only read about such places in books or saw them in movies or videogames, but never managed to visit one of those mysterious grottos myself. It looked risky, being somewhat distant from the seashore - waves could resonate within the grotto and throw you at the sharp rocks or just kick the shit out of you. But it still looked too appealing. The diving mask helped to find a way around the treacherous underwater rocks surrounding the grotto. God, wish I had a waterproof camera! That’s been quite a sight: light effects colored water in unearthly bright hue, the waves from the open sea were pulsing throughout the cave. Marsel was already out of breath and climbed on a rock to rest for a couple of minutes; our attempts to do the same didn’t end well - I only cut my legs in the process. Me and Dan inspected what was outside of the grotto in hopes of finding interesting natural phenomena, but there were just rocks, waves and endless sea. It was possible to get on the right-side rock, but having already cut my feet I decided not to attempt it.

​ In the evening we reached the charming Chania. The town was crowded and bursting with life, complex network lanes and side alleys here are stuffed with small restaurants and lighting of various colors. Funny thing is how all prices in Greek restaurants are almost similar everywhere except the most expensive ones. We explored the entire harbor and a lot of back alleys, but the prices almost didn’t change. There was a man enjoying fishing on the spot overlooking the lighthouse, near the photography museum where an art exhibition was held. It focused on the inevitable process of decay - we found many photos with rusty locks there. Nice aesthetics, if you ask me.

​ It was the time to find a camping place! In the darkness, we drove through a small roadside forest only to all of a sudden find ourselves on the sandy beach right next to a café under the surprised looks of the customers. We hastily retreated, parked nearby and began scouting. There was a hill nearby with an abandoned building on it, the kind of where all the isle’s narcos and hobos probably would gather. We sat up our tent further up the hill, some distance from the concrete carcass. Dan spent the night under the starry sky. Even though it wasn’t far from the city, I’ve never seen such a detailed sky - a whole Milky Way consisting of smaller stars was visible so clearly! Sky was the reason Dan slept outside of the tent. However, he got bitten by ants and mosquitoes. My newly-bought cloak first served me here as a pillow.

Day five: Balos Beach

​ Turns out the infamous GTA:SA gang has occupied one of the Crete’s most famous beaches and renamed it! This opportunity cannot go to waste! We had to overpaint their graffiti!

​ I was also quite excited at the opportunity to drive alongside the sea and check out other parts of Crete. The road was turning more and more rough, and at some point there wasn’t much of a road left at all - only scattered stones and dust. We were going north along the coast, and the Kissamos bay was lit by blinding-bright sun reflecting from its still, deep blue waters. It’s a high, mountainous area, and after passing the checkpoint, we soon arrived at a narrow road on the mountainside half of which was occupied by parked vehicles.

​ The road to the lagoon itself is pretty long from the “parking zone”, so donkey transports are offered :’D as an option. But being true experienced fellas we of course went there on foot. Makes you feel satisfied if you earned it, a stay on heavenly-white paradise beach by struggling through the mountain trails. We were wrapped in towels and long-sleeve shirts, covered by hats and sunglasses, with plastic bags in hand and looked like some sort of desert tribe but with a of modern touch.

​ As we got close to the lagoon, the fantastic view emerged: white sand (which reminded of ice-cream) and azure water formed a secret oasis, a refuge in the middle of rough mountains and scorching sun. The height we were about to descend was still considerable, but now we were much more motivated, always taking a glance at the slowly growing lagoon down below.

​ Of course, as it always is, the sun-loungers were paid. The water was mostly shallow and warm, and the sand, where it was damp, behaved like dense jelly. I even fell once or twice when running like a child along this marvelous, unreal area. Boats and small yachts moved around melancholically, and we went to dive at the edge of the area. The mask again proved its value as I found a peculiar looking thing among the sharp stones some distance from the shore. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be a peach kernel (random SVM joke here). I have to admit Vladimir Putin succeeded more than me in retrieving Greek ancestries. Ah, and then the climb back to the car was a lot less rewarding.

​ During the drive I looked at the map and actually there’s a church which can be reached by traversing the beach and ascending the hill on the other side. A proper place for a secluded monastery, albeit for the beach always calling to take a swim. We arrived at the taverna and had a short-time access to WiFi. It’s certainly cool NOT to have internet most of the time when traveling. Tried goat meat here, the best meat I ever tasted.

​ For this night, we drove south and have found a cozy spot covered by huge stones from all sides. We watched a bit of The Boondock Saints 2 in the tent and also brew tea on a portable stove right inside the tent. It created a shamanistic, mystical feel. Me and Dan went outside to sleep, and all night I was bothered by a small, sea-mine shaped sharp seeds that were sticking to everything.

Day six: keep your eyes safe

​ Usually in the anecdote they begin with either good or bad news. For me this time both weren’t pleasant. Firstly, we camped almost right on the popular beach, and the stones weren’t so much of a protection, but that’s just for laughing. Secondly, I caught an eye infection somehow, despite fanatically cleaning hands with antibacterial cream every now and then. So I had to wear glasses (which I hate) and endure the increasing discomfort. This also meant the team’s priority was to search for a doctor or a pharmacy. We got our bodies to cool a little bit in the sea, returned to our favorite taverna, but pharmacy right next to it, to our surprise, was closed, so we drove back to Chania. And there the adventure begins.

​ This day was sunday and [possibly] some major holdiay at the same time, which meant most of the pharmacies on the island are closed! How wonderful is that? Luckily, on each door they put a sheet of paper with a list of addresses.

This was the first occasion when MAPS.ME failed us, and searching for the address mentioned in the list was a failure. Another [closed] pharmacy was approximately at the place where the result pointed, and initially I suspected that either I didn’t get what the list was for or they were closed as well. Waiting another day could do anything to the eye in addition to spoiling the mood and we decided not to give up. In the process we made some discoveries:

• There are so many pharmacies around! Why do you even need that many? Literally, a pharmacy at every corner, or even two on the same street! Man, that’s a lot of pharmacies! And I thought I had a lot around my place back in Moscow.

• They are all closed! All of them are useless to me now, to a man in need of medical attention! What a waste!

• Typing and reading an address in Greek is, well… hard.

​ I found a small restaurant and got directions, tried to use them, but failed again. The whole thing was starting to feel hopeless and I explored around the [wrong] address on foot. There was no one around even to ask for help, and I had to remember where the car was parked. Then there comes a guy who crosses the street, I ask him whether he knows where the pharmacy is. He tells me he doesn’t remember the city very well because he’s just returned back from the army and his friend, who moved away from Chelyabinsk, now knows the place better, but he can try. While he was casually walking around, I was struggling to remember the path, along which we stumbled upon one or two closed pharmacies again. In the end, we DID found an open one, where I bought the necessary medications and, being now in raised spirits, left the change to the nurses. The road back to the car was a suspense, but I’ve prevailed. My eye was feeling a lot better the same day, and Dan set a course to a small fishing village on the southern shore: maybe we could rent a boat?

​ The trip was pretty exhausting: one could just look at the map and see the road has lost of curves, most of which are serpentine-like areas. The guys were a bit stressed, but made it. A rocky road, but not to Dublin yet. To our dismay, the boats were all booked in advance except for the expensive ones which we couldn’t afford. We pressed east along the coast, stopping in a village of Matala, famous for its numerous Hippy Caves.

​ Greeted by the Mongolian looking guy carved on a dead tree, we embarked into the depths of the place, which reminded of bazaar, searching for a good tavern. Daniel’s criterions included a lot of locals sitting at the tables, and soon we found a place at the balcony overlooking Όρμος Μεσαράς and were saying goodbyes to a setting sun while enjoying the Greek cuisine again.

​ The night stay should’ve of course happened inside the caves, but that’s what every tourist out there is thinking. The caves were sealed off by a small guard post, a fence and lights brightly illuminating them. After evaluating the situation, it was clear it’s impossible to take a nap inside :(

​ So we casually went to a paid camping grounds, set up a tent and dived in the cold night waters of the bay, knowing that tomorrow is our last day here, near silky sea and away from boring city life and grey panel buildings.

Day seven: the departure

​ During our last dive, Dan managed to climb inside a cave over the sea and discovered there was a lot of old syringes and other rubble inside. Not too romantic of a find, but what would you expect the hippies to leave after them?

​ A most important street wisdom again proved itself: behave like everything’s supposed to be the way it is. That’s the reason we were able to comfortable spend the night on a paid area without any worries. You go in like it’s OK, you leave like it’s OK. Problem solved.

​ Nothing too exciting happened that day with the exception of except a long road paired with little retrowave I had on my phone. We bought souvenirs (mainly olive oil), revisited Heraklion in the process, were lost in the maze of the streets and by miracle found the car again. The route back was different than we had taken the day before, it ran across the center of Crete and was much shorter. Seeing our hotel again was a bit surreal after we’ve stayed so much in the wilderness, so far away from the place. The rental company didn’t consider rope-fixed number plate an issue and took our little trusty companion away ;(

The conclusions

​ It was a wonderful experience. Exploring on your own without any bounds is a heck of a fun, as well as randomly camping like we did. Makes traveling a lot more spicy. I myself don’t drive so thank my bros Marsel and Daniil for their exceptional mastery. Not a single scratch on the car afterwards, and we never ran out of fuel! Learned a lot about planning during this trip and enjoyed figuring things out in a totally alien environment. Again, the Greek people are very hospitable and serve a lot of food.

​ Just one thing I need now: another spontaneous trip. It’s so addicting.